And it's OK.
At least it's GOING to be OK.
Why? Because God is in control.
Thank you to a friend who reminded me,
"God is with us through our trials.
God is with us when we are afraid.
God has gifted doctors with talents that can heal people.
God can move mountains."
In the last week, He has revealed himself time and time again.
Many people have asked me how long we've known about this. Here's the answer....
One week ago tonight I was reminding myself to take Grant's five month picture the following day after his regular monthly visit to the pediatrician. One week ago I knew that Grant's head was a bit misshapen, but just figured that even though Dr. Peters had been keeping an eye on it, that it was just the way God made him! One week ago I had never in my life heard the word craniosynostosis.
On August 18th at that five month visit it was recommended we call Lurie Childten's Hospital to been seen by a neurosurgeon. My first prayer was that we could get in quickly so I could just "get this over with". God answered. When I called to make the appointment they asked me if I had a preference for a surgeon. I didnt. I just took the first available spot. Two days later at 4:45pm we were sitting in Dr Tomita's office. I sat there listening to him explain what he was going to do to "fix" Grant's head thinking, "There is NO way you are going to do this to the happiest baby on the planet. I totally have to get a second opinion. There HAS to be another option". But there isn't. The risks for later on in Grant's life FAR outweigh the risks of doing the surgery.
THEN I learned Dr. Tomita's title was the Chief of Neurosurgery at Luries. One of the BEST hospitals in the country. It was as if God said, "No Linz, you're not getting a second opinion. This has to happen, he IS going to do this, and he is the best man for the job. Trust me, and I PROMISE I will continue to hold you up."
Next step? Well, that's tomorrow morning. At 9:15 Grant has a CT Scan followed by another appointment with Dr. Tomita to go over the test results and schedule surgery. Last time I was at Lurie's was to deliver our Blanket Brigade blankets. Tomorrow Grant will arrive at the hospital with a blanket lovingly made by Mallory (and me).
As for the man of the hour, he's obviously completely oblivious. It's hard not to worry that this experience will change his adorably sweet demeanor. As I've connected with a few moms whose babies have been through this I've been more than assured that while my anticipatory concerns are valid, I'll see once he makes it though this that he'll eventually be none the wiser and, once healed, will be back to his happy self. We're just getting started but I already can't wait for that.